Skeletons in the lingerie closet

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I like to describe the transformation into a well-fitted bra as coming out of the closet. Regardless of preferences in sexuality, it somehow seems fitting (pun indeed intended) on quite a few levels. For one, in my old bras I felt like hiding in the closet, preferably the whole summer and most of the winter long – which is exactly what I was doing wearing baggy clothes (although in my defense, the Sk8ter Boy has just hit the radios at the time!). Finally finding fine-looking, fitting bras felt freeing and fabulous! Looking through my drawer I found quite a few skeletons in that very closet, that I was most happy do be rid of. Starting this blog I kept remembering my journey from baggy (and some of the bras did look like actual bags, you will see!) to fitting as one big epiphany when a kind old lady in a tiny underwear store suggested that I didn’t need “something big like 38E” but a 32G or so. Somehow my brain filtered what was actually a long (and confidence crushing) voyage into one before and after moment. It wasn’t until I actually went through my drawer that I remembered just how many steps in between I have taken. So instead of just making one before and many after pictures I decided to dedicate some space to the actual transformation.

If you are reading this post, it is quite probable that seeing some of the pictures you will think – yes, my lingerie used to look like that! It is also possible that looking at some of the pictures you might think, yep that’s pretty much how my bras look now… Now I am well aware that being 30H/32GG I am lucky to be in the “almost mainstream” of bigger bras and it is the H+ cup sizes where it gets truly tricky, but there are always options! Curvy Kate for example make bras up to a K cup and they are pretty and fun, while remaining supportive. Similarly, Freya has bras that go up to the same size and Ewa Michalak is able to custom make bra just to your measurements without reaching astronomical prices! Therefore there is no need to stop at bras that “pretty much fit you” but make you feel undesirable or unattractive. I mean let’s face it – there is a reason why gentlemen spend most of the conversation staring at your bust. Boobs are just gorgeous! They are such a great part of being a girl and just trying on these old monsters from my closet made me realize just how much hatred they brought on my own body.

Now let’s take a look where I started…

Step no. 1 – around eleven, oops I have boobs!

Honestly, there wasn’t much out of ordinary. I got my first bra when I was eleven, pure cotton, no underwires – can definitely advise that to any young ladies or mums whose little princesses reached first signs of qeendom. I wear the matching panties to this very day. Although it might seem pointless, it is good to get used to wearing something around your chest not to mention, I confess it made me feel very proud to be a girl!

Step no. 2 – grew out of Snoopy. What now?

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In H&M they have nice, practical, 100% cotton underwear. With cute patterns. With Snoopy. Underwired. Up to a C cup. Done – too small for me now. Gave my beautiful old Snoopy bras to mum. What now? The embarrassing truth is I received some of my mum’s old nursing bras. Just remembering them makes me cry now, and it pretty much did at the time as well. Upon trying to find them to take a picture they disappeared, probably thrown out in a fit of merciful rage. I love my mum but I really don’t know how she could have let me walk out of the house in these! What kind of message does that send to a young thirteen year old? They were washed out, they were unattractive and made me boobs look unnaturally huge. The beginning of my whale period.

Step no. 3 – hello strapless? 85D…

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Let’s face it – big bust girls experience summer too! In an attempt to occasionally acknowledge my gender I was sold something that still shocks me to this very day. It was meant to be a variation on a strapless bra with plastic see-though straps. It consisted of an endless band that didn’t have a chance of supporting anything and cups made of stretchy material that didn’t posses any shape what so ever. The fact that anyone had the heart to actually impose this monstrosity on a little girl astounds me. The picture from the back shows the band riding up fairly high and therefore offering no support at all – even though now, 8 years later I would expect myself to be quite a bit bigger than at the time. The grotesque truth can be seen even better from the profile shot – where it is clear the cup despite its elasticity doesn’t even begin to encompass my boobs with underwires digging in the breast tissue. My boobs did grow a bit since then of course but not by much. I am 100% sure that at no point of me wearing this bra did the band sit straight across my back, or the front gore flat on my ribcage. My breasts spilled underneath the wires and on the sides, with the narrow plastic straps leaving angry red marks on my shoulders. Still I had two and a whole bag of broken straps that couldn’t withstand the weight of actual flash.

Step no. 4 – fluffy mono boob

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The lady in the shop promised ladies love this bra because it is oh-so-comfortable. It is although there is still no support just some sort of cloth cloud that creates one bag full of boob. The wires are still not wide enough and although the straps are wider they must carry the weight of the boobs fully as the band is nowhere near supporting.

Step no. 5 – the sports bra, mono boob part 2

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The sad truth that repeatedly crushed my father’s heart is that I’ve never been much of a sports gal. My by far favourite sports are skiing, volleyball and table tennis as none of them require much or any running. Nevertheless I was given a sports bra in the shop as it was the biggest they had. No underwires. It did not matter whether the bottom rim didn’t actually contain my boobs. It might have then, I cannot remember, I could never bring myself to actually wear it much. Squishy, squishy! My fairly languid literature filled life apparently called for such a device just to allow me to walk around. Weight-walking anyone?

Step no. 6 – two bags as opposed to one! …is this it?

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This option stuck around for a while. Triumph 36E was the best high street could offer and it was an unattractive yet fairly functional alternative. Seems like ladies my size do not deserve pretty underwear. The band is too big and doesn’t offer support, the front gore does not sit flat and I recall endless sessions in front of the mirror comparing the great resemblance of my boobs and potato bags. I own a total of three. They make me shudder, as they look almost ok. Almost.

Step no. 7 – I have a vagina. I am a girl!

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This was my final attempt to address the fact I was (and am – bless you English agreement of tenses!) a female. The black French lace, no too skimpy and no flowers thank you very much – I was in love. So much that I decided to get this beauty regardless of the fact it did no fit me in the slightest. I knew it too – by then even I recognized that 38E was meant for someone twice my size and half my boobs. I could not resist and the sales lady did nothing to stop me. While trying this on and hoping to tighten the strap a bit I found I altered the straps already – to be one third of the original adjustable part. The cups seem okay but the underwire digs in my breast tissue and there is no uplift at all. These are my boobies in their fully natural state and shape accessorized with some cloth.

I am torn as whether to feel any reproach. I am in love with this set to this very day and I still wear the knickers when I want to feel special. In fact despite the company’s (Etam) limited bra size range and the amount of padding in their smaller cups (“Let’s not like the body we have and put our shape on ladies!” – right?! thank you for that message), which I imagine is what soldiers wore to battles to defend themselves from spears and arrows, most of my knickers are from their shop.

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The magical seven! Some of these look horrendous and some look almost ok. None of them made me feel even remotely happy with my body and to this very day I tend to find ladies with boyish figures more attractive than (my own) hourglass shape. I am lucky to have found Mr Fringster who despite knowing me in most of my potato bag-gy stages (with clothes on that is – meaning formless and hunched over) is together with my fitting brasserie doing a lot to rectify my body image and preferences. My posture is bad still however. Some of it is genetics I am sure – my father’s shoulders look exactly the same. I am twenty-one though. He is fifty-two. My point is – if any of your bras look like these and you feel you would prefer something more sexy or fun –  KEEP SEARCHING! THEY EXIST!

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Bye badly fitting bras! Never again!

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Love me do!

Hello, my name is Jimmy and -surprise, surprise- I’m a female. To start off I thought I would explain a bit why I decided that yet another blog about bigger bust lingerie was needed. Because yes, indeed, you definitely do need to read this one =)! My uneducated 32GG/30H self have gotten into reading lingerie blogs about two years ago, starting with Cheryl’s fabulous Invest In Your Chest and falling in love with it, then gradually broadening my horizons to many of the great other ones out there. These days I am regularly hooked on IIYC, Georgina’s Fuller Figure Fuller Bust and Undercover Lingerista. There are many more I read occasionally, however this is my trio and I dutifully follow and enjoy every post. They are funny, interesting and offer never ending education both for the women (or cross dressing men) who still struggle to find a well fitting bra and to those who found what size suits them the best (yes, I am talking about that “How to hand wash you precious bras” IIYC post  – do check it out, your bras will like you even more!). For me, living in the middle of the Old Continent in Prague, a simple review meant often as much as £ 30 worth of discount – as that is the regular difference between the online sales and the prices of the two shops in Prague that carry my size. To say I found them super important and helpful doesn’t even begin cover it, especially as I caught myself harbouring a little obsession for the magically fitting undergarments!

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It is no secret in the blogging sphere that good fit is crucial and yet there are so many women out there who suffer from low self esteem, back pains and hate their bodies! I find it tragically comical how every underwear shop will have posters up reminding the ladies, that: “80% of them are wearing a wrong size bra!” Yet they themselves have such a small range of sizes that very few of their customers who happen to BE in a wrong size bra can be actually catered to instead of just buying yet another garment that makes them upset and unhappy.

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My initial coming out of the closet (full of the badly fitting too-large-band-tiny-cup bras) happened about three years ago and to say it changed my life would (no surprise there) be a massive understatement. Just out of interest I made a post about my “old” bras – the ones that made me feel like a whale both when I was buying them in the shop and continuously while I wore them. It is rather sad, especially since they were often quite expansive! My typical size would be: “the biggest band you have with the biggest cup please!” Just the mention of swimming suits made me cry. No girls t-shirts would even fit me and if..? Then I looked like a saggy, blotchy version of Pamela after a very long party. Wouldn’t wish that on any sixteen year old (which is what I was at the time) and that’s the reason I try to spread the word.

The journey to an actually well fitted bra was rather slow and included many 38E. It is important to keep in mind that quite probably, you do not have a well fitting bra unless your breasts actually feel gorgeous – because let me assure you, they really are! It surprised me, going through my drawer, just how many in-between steps there were as my faulty memory mercifully erased many of them. I found almost-there 34 G Triumph bras, which my granny would be too ashamed to wear as they made my soft breast tissue look like potato bags. Still I bought three of them altogether, because they were the best I could find. From the longer going blogs I could gather that the situation for us, bigger busted ladies, has definitely improved over the last few years. This applies more than ever then – no excuse for not having bras that make you and your boobs happy! Sort-of-ok is not good enough!!!

My first beloved was a purple 32G Conturelle and even though the bra is too small (the cups are a bit smaller than average G) now, I maintain a small crush on the colour to this very day – it is so classy and will always remind me of the moment I first put it on and felt (feminists burn me on a stake) like a sex bomb!

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Since then I have discovered other brands, first on the Internet and then in a little store in Prague called Superbra. Here I fell in love for the second purple time – with my ingoing affair Fauve. My first was an Amethyst Emmanuelle and shockingly it remains to be my most favourite, most used bra! In fact I suspect it is immortal!

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Over the years I tried on many others – Freya, Panache Superbra, Curvy Kate, Masquerade or Dalia – all of which I intend to review and keep trying, however really Fauve remains my number one. Which brings me back to present and the very raison d’être of this blog – first and foremost to help spread the word that the right size bra helps your boobs feel happy, healthy and stunning. But since many of us who have found our best size like to shop online and need reviews and real life pictures (yes I am talking to you Freya Eliza!) of what is available, I hope to bring in my little bit of experience and my (let’s face it overflowing) lingerie drawer. Despite the wonderfully big number of lingerie blogs out there, none of their writers seem to be big Fauve fans, so I’d like to rectify this gap… just in case I am not alone in my affection for this brand! I will try to bring many reviews of their classy, sexy designs. It is my hope to help a bit with clarifying and demonstrating the fit of the many cuts that return in different colours every season! And since I have a great, slightly OCD mother who taught me that “just in case you die unexpectedly darling, be sure to wear a matching bra and panties every day!” I will be able to show the fit of panties and shorts as well, although (and it was one of the first rules I laid down with Mr Fringster whose insight on the different designs I’ll try to include as well) – no thongs! Just no. =)